[ Ah, yes. You won’t have to deal with any questions or Yashiki’s criminal act of giving you feelings if you do that. That’s a totally reasonable and healthy way to deal with things. Lock the man in a closet forever. ]
Er…
[ Awkward frown at his phone… Mashita's got him there.
Typing dots start and stop… Then start again. Then pause.
( at least locking yashiki in a closet would mean he would get lost and lock himself out of his house or get killed. )
is it a coincidence that you were dropped on your head as a child?
( fuck. no, that's too mean. calm down. it's just yashiki, not some asshole that's making things difficult on purpose. )
when a lot of coincidences start piling up around you, you're usually supposed to start wondering if you're the problem that's how self preservation is supposed to work
it seems like you have 0 sense of self preservation, even outside of spirit bullshit
[ Do you really think that Yashiki wouldn't still manage to end up in trouble? The man finds a way.
The restraint is commendable at this point, and at least Yashiki recognizes how lame that last excuse sounded. ]
I get what you're trying to say but I do have some sense of self preservation. And it's not like I can just ignore things that need attention for the sake of sleep most of the time.
[ And that was what it often came down to. He couldn’t let himself relax enough to sleep because he would always find SOMETHING that needed research or attention or some varied level of concern. What if someone (including the man on the other end of the line) got in trouble while he was passed out when he could have been doing something? He’d never forgive himself. ]
and what am I supposed to do if you die from making a mistake because you're too tired to think straight? is that supposed to make any of me any of us feel good about what happened and that we didn't do anything to try and stop it?
( why is his chest hurting? ugh. this is stupid. why is yashiki so stupid. goddamn. )
[ Of course he hadn't thought of it that way. There's a flurry of dots as he almost responds a little too quickly to the message. Because at the end of the day he's still more concerned with the well being of the people he doesn't want anything to happen to than himself. He's almost frustrated that no one gets that, stupid as it sounds.
And then he stops, because the phrasing of question one and something unsaid in the second manages to snag his attention properly.
And a few long minutes pass before he actually responds a little reluctantly.]
... I hadn’t really been thinking about it that way; I guess. Of course, I wouldn’t want to put you in that position. It’s just hard to not worry about what I might be missing and who might die instead, all because I wasn’t doing what I could have been to avoid it.
[ And certainly doesn't want to lose you that way, Mashita. ]
I do, but I still want to try to save as many as I can along the way.
[ He's not sure if he'll ever be okay with that, even if he gets it. ]
Honestly, it's the people around me that I worry about the most. You and the other mark bearers. There's been too many close calls with you all trying to help me too, you know.
[ Need he remind you of the forest that night? ]
Look, I can't just promise I'll get better at it over night... Because I'd break it and we both know that. But would it make you feel better if I at least tried to prioritize sleep when there isn't a case? Provided I ever get back in my house, I mean.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@Kekkin
Date: 2024-05-11 11:35 am (UTC)[ Ah, yes. You won’t have to deal with any questions or Yashiki’s criminal act of giving you feelings if you do that. That’s a totally reasonable and healthy way to deal with things. Lock the man in a closet forever. ]
Er…
[ Awkward frown at his phone… Mashita's got him there.
Typing dots start and stop… Then start again. Then pause.
He really has no defence here, does he? ]
I’m sure it’s just a coincidence?
[ Really? That’s what he came up with? ]
lol i was dealing with those captcha for hours last night already
Date: 2024-05-11 05:42 pm (UTC)is it a coincidence that you were dropped on your head as a child?( fuck. no, that's too mean. calm down. it's just yashiki, not some asshole that's making things difficult on purpose. )
when a lot of coincidences start piling up around you, you're usually supposed to start wondering if you're the problem
that's how self preservation is supposed to work
it seems like you have 0 sense of self preservation, even outside of spirit bullshit
Oh no! I haven't the patience for the robot tests... >>;
Date: 2024-05-11 06:19 pm (UTC)The restraint is commendable at this point, and at least Yashiki recognizes how lame that last excuse sounded. ]
I get what you're trying to say
but I do have some sense of self preservation.
And it's not like I can just ignore things that need attention for the sake of sleep most of the time.
[ And that was what it often came down to. He couldn’t let himself relax enough to sleep because he would always find SOMETHING that needed research or attention or some varied level of concern. What if someone (including the man on the other end of the line) got in trouble while he was passed out when he could have been doing something? He’d never forgive himself. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 07:07 pm (UTC)is that supposed to make any of
meany of us feel good about what happened and that we didn't do anything to try and stop it?( why is his chest hurting? ugh. this is stupid. why is yashiki so stupid. goddamn. )
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 07:49 pm (UTC)And then he stops, because the phrasing of question one and something unsaid in the second manages to snag his attention properly.
And a few long minutes pass before he actually responds a little reluctantly.]
... I hadn’t really been thinking about it that way; I guess.
Of course, I wouldn’t want to put you in that position.
It’s just hard to not worry about what I might be missing and who might die instead, all because I wasn’t doing what I could have been to avoid it.
[ And certainly doesn't want to lose you that way, Mashita. ]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 08:04 pm (UTC)you already know this
( it's not that he likes it either, but that's just how it is. )
you should focus on the people around you first
and at least yourself
or we're all going to lose what ties us together as mark bearers
( among other things. )
no subject
Date: 2024-05-11 08:28 pm (UTC)[ He's not sure if he'll ever be okay with that, even if he gets it. ]
Honestly, it's the people around me that I worry about the most. You and the other mark bearers.
There's been too many close calls with you all trying to help me too, you know.
[ Need he remind you of the forest that night? ]
Look, I can't just promise I'll get better at it over night... Because I'd break it and we both know that.
But would it make you feel better if I at least tried to prioritize sleep when there isn't a case?
Provided I ever get back in my house, I mean.